evidence

hung

2006-12-27T22:21:00.000-08:00

twitching
hands
shaking
head
looking up
to hear the
creak in my
neck
belly
bloat
breasts
soar
pulse
beat
ache
one
and
two
and
three
and
four
ive
never
quite
felt
this
be
fore

the back of the mountain

2006-11-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

the back of the mountain is warm
the back of the mountain is smooth

kissing it, i feel that on my lips
both the warm and the smooth

it is also soft, and in fact, it is your back too.
just like the back of that big mountain,

warm and smooth.

the water from the lakes and the rivers make steam
when you touch your back to them they become the air in ripples of gray
when i touch your back i become ripples of red - like lava
hot down your back and front

the mountain is what i want to run myself down
warm and smooth
ripples of gray steam
the lava glowing - slow, moving down
meeting the rivers and lakes
to sleep stiff, smiling
having moved
formed by a back
the smooth mountain back
it sends me swimming

a white mold

2006-04-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

is covering

growing silent deep cough
over sleeping head collar bone
white

mold, my lungs fur blowing

when the bed has two heads mine touches
the silhouette, the family tree, the history - veins

but you question any root
a blackened deadened thread
woven cover for doubled glance

but the mold it still grows
over you and over me
our heads two headed bed
and it fills the lungs like smoke
a white
not black cover to this breathe
these words

dull edge, soft glance
only with the inside-out
give in give in
not for fear but the loss of it

the mold is alive
and its not afraid

keep ingesting

2006-02-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

my tongue never knows
but wonders
what and why it keeps flowing in
the words and the food
mashed together
in a paste
my stomach awakened
but bored by the same
mess
in belly
lower hollow filling
the memories catch there
and that is what is being buried
deep below the paste
all that wants to be forgotten
teeth ground
tongue diluted
but still whole
are the pieces in the mush
hollow fills,
yet rooted is you

the night has a walk

2005-12-06T02:08:00.000-08:00

the night has a walk and its fog
it has a walk and its quiet traffic humming
a walk and the dialogue became just one
two eyes two feet and just one

we parted at the bridge and i climbed

darting to the silent streets
before my orange envelope would take me
deliver me to sleep
the night had a walk for me

just a monologue
just a story told from one

i, to listen
the night, to tell

lights catch the fog and the words float on
the bugless winter air carrying them nicely
flowers caught from summer still in bloom
drooping as the words pass by their sleeping bodies

the night had a walk
with cheeks pink, listening
to night
to breath
to body

the night had a walk
breathing words,
with a slow winter pace

Janus

2005-12-01T14:32:00.000-08:00

of beginnings - hands held

of endings - hearts cradled

of times breaking - pieces kept

of this change and its weight - lifted

you are not a man to me, Janus

but the woman with whom i sing each song

necks together voices singing double headed harmony

of the aching of the heart
the strength that is in it
of my womanly ways
we sing each song together, Janus,
because I am the creator
of my starts,
stop

opening the door
unlock
key falling never needed
my prayerless closings
keep coming
shining beneath the crack
light streaming
leading me

Janus, lets sing,
a song about it all
about the summer
about the pounding
what it means
to love to change
to say goodbye
when hearts close
doors how to open
letting light in
yet too
letting light out

your soft voice

2005-12-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

i listen on and on

a warm river, you
with the eyes i stare into

nerves a spring
edging each with fingers

i wonder who you are
with that voice like a river

and yet we are silent

only your
voice
to my ear

this quiet snow fall

on and on

the dirt of the heart

2005-11-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

for each time i raise my eyes
to find you
ill write
for each time i wake to want you here
ill push away from lonely
and find a point in me
which holds me better love with hope
of futures growing true
its crushing me now, but ive got to resist
being knocked down and never return
im aching and trying a knot to untie
its just at those pauses
i feel like i might not survive
and however much i get up and see
i cant forget about what my words
are saying
as useful as tools to use in the soil
ill prepare the bed and hope my ground is healing
for fertile grounds to grow a new kind of motions

cast iron pan

2005-11-19T17:09:00.000-08:00

thats the weight of it

heavy and hot

seasoned and slick

my heart sizzling

on coil heat

brings out the flavor

all the memories

like on fragrant nights

exclaiming its beauty

its colors and tastes

yet today i have a cold pan

no warming on high

just a dryness and waiting

stitched

2005-11-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

threading the needle takes a few moments
pushing it through takes just a few more
the warmth seems to fill up that space
that the needle has pushed aside
pulling hot wet along each thread
im mending away on this rainy day morning
and figuring ill be at it again
sewing it up and up back at once
you walk away ill walk away
he said
as it rained on my head
no sunshine for months
im bearing my life on my red sleeve
each and every day
and at night we mutter hellos and hi's
but this morning im mending that soft hot
ball of mush
back and back singing softly goodmorning
but im feeling this aloneness with each wave
of sky spit and hoping its cleansing
and washing away
my back is still slumped from the words
of midnight talking and i sigh of
full days stomach ache aching
ive thought about sewing a heart onto post and mailing it ragged and open
and never brought my self close to sending it scared having loved those others
but im sitting alone, as ive already said
with a day and the night just ahead not knowing whos hearing
or caring each way but id love to say hello and have a nice day.

fear filled

2005-10-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

im afraid of living easy
guilt a foe and never letting
up i look at weeks old beard
and stare while dreaming
pretending there
shaking head and heavy
hand raised straighten hair
fix now pick and pick
for nerve a stress
plus life an old loan
and what of love we forget
every time

heavy system

2005-10-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

i always put it together
piece by piece

hemming edges on edge fast complete
through a process meditation
comes an image born from time

but however there are ways
you show me easy pie
pushing through without
a process and im blue

what if now i cannot feel a tick
a clock of time of prayers
on beads
and now blind life and hearts
lead darkness into deep

light step

2005-07-21T00:24:00.000-07:00

both dreaming as in sleeping
yet feeling awake
wool pillow
cotten flannel
i always try to punch in dreams
but i never actually make contact
i stare at a chin and bring slow a fist
and watch it raise and lower
having anger in dreams makes
an unsettled awake of feelings
not surfaced of you

ear stop

2005-07-21T00:20:00.000-07:00

sitting quiet watching thumping
crash lifting sholder swinging
but you writing quiet head poking
no wallet gone as mine still too
just two small kids at the back in the woods
having nothing to say and no silence to hear it
hello i am me and you are you
but he whispered to me about a hand
you once held but i only noticed
that you wrote down the words
romancing each letter more than
any lover could ever

pressing palms

2005-07-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

bringing a thread to the ridges and around the wrinkled curves, ill sew these fingers together
from a brown eye, green, blue eyed brown red thread around the seems
our hands will come together and make a fan which winds a fire
if there is a fire in a forest which never spreads yet never dies
that means your hands will stay together fans which never touches soil
hanging there along the fire reaching down 4 hands of each
are tied and fan the ways with guts be gutting down the bark peel place
no water near which makes us cry to east west craving salty making waves
with just a fan and our 4 hands
weve carved a resting spot up top a banging wind from 4 hands fan
and never fighting my mark making a use of hands which our ties making
wind burning the fire always at nights in the quiet 4 hands

having times

2005-06-15T01:55:00.000-07:00

seeped by a stream a crossing well hidden
proud pride like lion grips food
graceful jumping like reflected light on watches
i havent had times
edging towards the forwards
youve smiled and grasped along
as we silent spoke of curious thought
about our two bodies going
ahead and onto what we might become
but now im seeping into a stream
carrying you ill keep you above surface
just tell me about the beauty of the world
as i fight my treads in place
but perhaps youll jump on banks as passing
and walk down paths unworn
but on my back ill hold you up and listen as you sigh

dangle

2005-06-15T01:43:00.000-07:00

suspended by this space between
a time of change and a time of solids
alone on wires stretched across
i sleep to dream of walking away
and wake to know im still above
a place of constant change
holding on to those stable parts
might be the way ive lived
but now its those wires that
suspend me above my comforts
of the years simply prior
hoping luckies keep me up and
keep me moving along
i pray but not to the prayer hearer
in fear of falling down
the one that answers every question
is silently away
and making a perilous crossing
with the quiet manic breaths
ill hope to be awake and moving
but tonight ill dream across

handle

2005-05-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

the fine lines around your eyes
they wrinkle when you look
and when they fill with applejuice
spilling down the cracks

i miss the tartness of those tears
the fresh pressed cider taste
of smiles too big for muffin face
and crying for life during pause

the smell of your back as i press against
and cradle chin to neck
is mild yet strong and warm as 12 hour sleep
it makes me happy having chin to neck
and our dreaming skulls relate

just once in time have we pressed against
a window about the world
all the paths we've made times the crack in the sky
times a hand held way too tight
lets stay outside, pressing faces and grasping
and ill link my arm through yours
turn your face towards me and ill try to make you smile
for you are that true love
never asking for more
and luck handled me well

disconnect

2005-05-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

pulling the bag off the shelf, its contents
fell and struck us both on the head
a long amnesia has kept it away
and it is now that i try to stand up
and its those years of dreaming
upon the floor that makes a girl
disconnect

rib

2005-04-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

my knees against the floor
silver smoothing against
ribs

white against bare white
and my silver hands rub

the powder blows along and
touching pushing fibers in
around the bones and figures
long and wound

my eyes they follow my hands
as they feel
out the edge of each one still
and press hard pressings down

their shapes are a path
that im not sure is mine
but its watching and feeling
that i need at this time
so i push and think silent
of the silver on rib

pressing

2005-04-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

the weight of it is like a hot humid air
that settles in my lungs
when i breath my tongue tastes its heavy
thick pressing

sitting quietly to think
of how its gained in size
each breath still rolling
like a long damp wedding dress

ive taken to sleeping on both of my arms
we talked about its causes and life history map
but its the weight of my body each night that
puts my arms to rest
while the weight in my chest is an anchor for me
for laying my soul down to sleep

making a wave

2005-04-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

somewhere between your eyes and my heart it starts
and between those heated spots it also begins a sound
coming from both below and above
my body remains still as the actions grow
when we met i felt the powers - your own heart gives
when we parted today my eyes gave heat to you
the wave began then and crashed from my lids at noon

you walked as i watched, your dripping lost in its noise
we swim together my love in an ocean that we've already drowned
i look for your body and head, floating above the surface
i duck my own beneath and know the depths are silent

so lover, lets make our waves together
lets cleanse our hearts and help better
love the ocean that is ours
and forever ill love your ocean eyes
that hold our sinking bodies.

it happens to be

2005-04-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

the day we woke up
alone or was it perhaps together
it also happens to be
a real treat to speak and smile
with a friend about our lives
while we look around the room
and point out little hidden things
like shapes that make heartarrows
it happens to be
a day like none other
when i sang real loud and felt
that rush of no time back out
and kept my hands away from
seeking out bad truths
helping only my voice become louder

saggy sweater

2005-03-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

our laughs made a sweater
woven together these days
from 2 years till today
and its grown a bit too big
its got a bunch of colors
and its worn a little thin
but only in the elbows and
at the sleeves ends
from pointing out doves
and catching the hurt ones
and hugging and holding
from dancing for a smile
ive loved you more than a hot bath
and feel like butter on corn bread
when you put your arms around me
and we wear that big saggy sweater

(drink this - its a milkshake!)

this is yours

2005-03-24T18:50:00.000-08:00

i havent quite figured it out, what it is about your face
that makes me think of trains at night and the light from across the bay
but i sit and listen but really just stare at the place beneath your nose
and just above your smile
the curve just around your nostrils leads down to your mouth
in a way that curls my hair and makes me sing outloud

i held your mothers knit today and brought it to your work
and left it by your bag and things while you ate and talked right by
thinking that we wouldnt speak i darted around the back
and considered sneaking my way out the door and found you in the dark

she smiled and laughed and we chatted over food and you glanced at me each time
as we nervous shifted back and forth and silenced our own quiethood
the hug was longer and a bit more warm and i could feel it being longer
but we left our grips to future days still we waved and rode towards home

heavens yes

2005-03-23T04:04:00.000-08:00

you talk about god sometimes on our walks home
and i ask you every time in my head what do you mean
when i asked you outloud you told me it was from these meetings
that would gather people to talk

i remember it made me quiet and it made me think
your life seems harder than mine and maybe it is
but your hands are still soft and you try to make others smile
the books you read keep you thinking and there is warmth in your words

there wasnt much that we said tonight that didnt make me think
about this person i love so much and our time together each day
you've slept alongside another one much like i have too
and each sunday comes - it always feels like sunday

when we dont have those people and we have lived 5 more years
lets think of the moon in the eye of the man we both saw
up there in the sky the night we rhymed and hugged-
the same night we had said our quiet and shakey goodbye

saying no

2005-03-08T01:46:00.000-08:00

ive never known the way to say no
but tonight i said it with my wrist to heart
we sat across and listened to the words
and glanced with knowing and youth
but he continued and we said silence
but broken i remarked of a violent honest sigh
and finally after time said no no

we walked walkings brisk up hill running
sip breaths quick giggles laugh
are you falling in love he asked
again we glanced and silenced his askings

eyes looking down back up and at eachothers hearts
after says of no's and silencing stares id like to share
your heart is like an ocean
like a dylan song all wise
we can speak in metaphors and laugh and i cherish your
askings and sighs

but others have blond hair and curly and long
with shudders and numbers on hands
id like to note our being alive with a loud sound
aloud down south youve come to meet
me and you side by side we sleep in seperate

spaces - grateful being close and friends
i know a love like yours is special currency
ill save it up and never spend a cent on anything
no never, just a saver and just a sayer

cream please

2005-02-25T20:30:00.000-08:00

heaven sake
down to the river lets sit
pulling grasses and slaving
sun over trees leaves move wind
water quiet eyes sing

you strum hum bring back the dying
dead fed bees honey mask
over bangs and pulled back places

she snickers black a smile forms
free tonight you called

ive never been out east in the summer
times table airtruck ride submarine
ill take you home for good and we'll cut
eachother free

id like to see that place in the grove
west wine hillbilly knight climb

we've hiked our heads in treehouse kept
dry words in bags lines written up high

shining lights on rocks save the jelly fish its ride
we hugged at sunset and then came a strange mut

taz you said it was mumbled and blushed but you love
its play and wagging back backs

i rub your hands cut boils on monday nights
oh no, youre hurt and im hurting for you
lets walk to the loop and hug once again

at the end of may

2005-02-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

lets meet at the end of may
over grass and dirt
lean down smell lick ground smile
lets cut our hairs and bury them whole
till the end of next may
we'll go away and come back - a year

what grows from our grows?
tempted to peek
lets meet at the end of may

froze fell

2005-02-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

two roads split (uneasily)

we've mentioned the hollow ground before hands held high while jet planes pass
you always ignored the lights and flickers, but they kept you moving on
insistant thump thump thumps on doors locked never grateful hands

there was a night you slept i held you quiet thinking feeling your bones with their own breath
sharp hangers poking through thin shirts, the blades touched my chest

we've seen eachothers eyes, during each and every song
will the memories of certain sounds fade or stay along?

we bundled in the winter hat coat shirt boot
melting snow around the spot we stood and waited for the bus
riding on the most back seat we'd hum sway to their bobbing heads
never eating anything we gush fresh thoughts and blinked wide eyes
for the city that felt alone and cold without
any one but you who sings!

our hands held knuckle tugs made promises and kisses two

magnet heads

2005-02-09T21:00:00.000-08:00

gravel throat gotee
marked your hands at birth
given praise you scratch lines
darting back always to the cold
center wind

eyes with layered ice water ice
gentler then the yells said youd be
i miss you

wonder ifs
do we own a thread that long?

i cut my ties before i knot them

do you grace a long stem many buds
blooming year to year
giving prayer to ear to gasp sing song

esoteric meandering you
ill never forget the line
lost all the rest
my shoulders needed the words
slow arch up
after 5 after 10
we both sing now
reach me touch hold
i need you too
as you need bleed
saved in a boney bundle
he is also grasping at your collar
wrists between red and blues
he cries at night and the gloomy day
keeps him white and alone

prayers to you and me
lets send a smile over to him

vivid trace

2005-02-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

map maker please
exercise heavy pressure -
this is the minimum image

the lines touched traversed
on chin and lips
unravel in opposition

procedures of relation
he remarked
'a contact has taken place'

no cleaning or polishing
leave it on the surface
to age
to discolor
the image will finally
come through

thumb tip pinky
shy words rebel wink
coward sinks
silent bottom shore

teaming hearts

2005-02-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

fluttery voiced our smiling
we waver weaving small sounds
hinting through

prints together tearing up
welding in eyes your history
with mine

graced with long curls
feverish color clowning
layer upon layer - lava

cotton rests and scribble
lines of water flame cities
with a crown face frown

we walk the iceberg clearing
through the water deep
holes to meet greet pause

id like to take a hand or hair
and keep it near my cheek
smelling smile stroke a bit
waking me when tired

i cradle you at night sometimes
yet in the dreams it stays
brother mother baby bears
our eyes meet deep felt rare

and years plus ten we may believe
in a night open stars breath air
id hold you that night i think -
imprinted on my lower back
and silently id hide

forced out

2005-02-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

green pine ivy crawl
smoothie red sun
mistaking a yes for a no

spoon in cup clank clinks
as you dress smile blue on black

hair sweep over eye
laughing to try try
stripes up calf

old dress never worn
the flies still
your gradation and mine

the question of god
plays track by track
drawing planes over patterned

breath stretch
forsee

suprising sewn

2005-01-30T23:41:00.000-08:00

the tip of my finger felt raw
my knee still blue
the windows covered
light comes from the east

id like to open a letter from you which tells about your heart
the kind that seeps out slowly, molasses - iron sweet
in it i hope to see the unfolding glow of your dream as pale warm cream
with words honest never tired only fingerprint ridge - a delicate landscape
of your own

licked sent prayer

reading lines down, you take the fine hairs in back and tie
knot after knot
smiled and sewn, weaving plates serving coal black

i had the impression
walking sands marking foot after print
collecting each piece on the dash along coast
swerve laugh
the headphones we sang shhh

we'll hang up

thats when tomorrow ill get that letter - remember?
the one about your heart
it will come i know each day i deliver it
opened and penned by
my secret heart

down to the sea

2005-01-23T14:44:00.000-08:00

crumpled in hand the words written cursive
over the bridge peered
gray reflected and the mountain still sleeps
lets hope this day is forgotten
no word from the internal
yet my cheeks welcome the tears flow
distant we've flown in an airplane hands held landing
gold rimmed O for this town
we pass the water each day
the moon is almost full
you on the east, my westward view
the ocean between us

untitled

2005-01-20T01:19:00.000-08:00

sitting among those working i read
a line about collection
the principles behind it becomes the heart-
tracing those thoughts on paper

the structure is suspended
with fine wood handles
the pile is silent
a brilliant white

the mesh gray peeks through
with a hand it flashes
and the sound
falling on to wood floor politely

i shut the book and stared
looked at the hands and pulled on my coat
not needing it for the warmth

wavering

2005-01-17T23:12:00.000-08:00

we dragged it outside into the rain
it was already soggy on the bottom
yet we drew a clear line down the center
the masonite had a visable tooth

your lovers on this side, mine on this side
letters put together forming histories kept silent
we quieted ourselves with the ritual
many vowels and curves and we looked up
embarrased as if caught cheating

you first
who is it?

third one down
you?

still the first
ouch

i knew it
thats our evening
and our life to follow it

our hands touched
and touched all of theirs

we left the list to wash away
the rain making louder beats than
our hearts we laid down quietly to dream

ivory snooze

2005-01-12T14:24:00.000-08:00

lolling head necked pillow
down the drain on the evening news
shotted tombs

never saying yes no
with a thud dropping
pressure above heads
no necked pillow

resident heroic
balled up bashful
seizure handshakes
fearing only nicely

what they said when we left -
shrug and goodluck
some said love others kept rocking

the direction of this
clearly ambiquity seasons
each stitch

crack down with the law
lets say something real
fuck, lets just do it
every day

go that way
find the traced lines
stretching out there

stills from the surface

2005-01-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

cranky tired
distance under cover
hair at back and up
grey black underline
smoke
pushing you
pressure
nuzzle couple across
pause
hatless-above is blank
roaming for
night escapes
dark clinking
heavy remaining
under your eyes
and on your upper lip

harboring fear

2005-01-09T15:39:00.000-08:00

erased papers
treasures from that autumn
we woke late
each day you moaned
was another

small box
copper wing
sealed with your name
and mine

over an ocean - silence
her words are in you
of you

the tears of years 1 2 and 3
her favorite was the fruit
touched with floated

handling this inside
fooling no one
it sits on my skin for 3

opened a window
smelling the same sea

saved

2005-01-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

bent corners frayed
stolled and stored
layering in page a while
we've kept it all well in mind
yet we have these pieces,
this evidence